Donna Kunde

:: 00:0400

Play

Yes. You're listening to Build Business Podcasting Made Easy, the TV Talk Show Formula, where you get a roadmap to elevate your authority and expand your visibility with a TV talk show that you're proud of. And you're listening on the IBGR radio network. This is episode six. And today we're talking about how to make friends with your inner TV talk show critic Stop sabotaging you. I'm Donna Kunde, co founder of the IBGR Network global Radio Authority and podcast expert and the producer of over 14,000 podcasts.

Declan Oceguera

:: 00:4100

Play

And I'm Declan Oceguera, TV producer and international TV talk show host. And my TV Talk Show formula has impacted over I was going to say inspired that, too. Over 100,000 lives globally and gives business owners and entrepreneurs a simple way to be seen and heard with their own purpose driven message. And we are your hosts for this 13 week journey. So remember that you can easily follow the plan@tvtalkshowformula.com. And if you want direct life support from us for your business TV talk show, then contact us today at tvtalkshowformula info.

Donna Kunde

:: 01:2300

Play

Yes, but you just never know what's going to come out of our mouth.

Declan Oceguera

:: 01:2600

Play

I know. So you can do a show and do all of that stuff and it's no, we're we're alive. It's all good.

Donna Kunde

:: 01:3200

Play

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's so funny before we get into our quote this morning, that the same thing happened last season when I was doing the Influencers formula with Ben Gioia the book Coach Extraordinaire. And that was the one episode where we were so talking about getting everything right, that everything came out of our mouth. And I think this is a perfect set up for this week as well.

Declan Oceguera

:: 01:5700

Play

Exactly. For what we're going to talk about. We couldn't have scripted it this way.

Donna Kunde

:: 02:0300

Play

Yeah, right on. When I started doing my other podcast, Building Success Habits, when that started coming out of my mouth, I'm like, oh, we should we should go back. We should redo this. We should edit it out, we should do it. I'm like, no, this is live. This is what you get. It's all part of it. It's all part of it. That little critic in everyone's head is real. Guys.

Declan Oceguera

:: 02:3200

Play

You have a good story to talk about today.

Donna Kunde

:: 02:3600

Play

And to set up the story, the real story of the two wolves, the quote is that he who has peace and sock has everything. He who harbors a storm within his heart and soul has nothing. And welcome to the show.

Declan Oceguera

:: 02:5000

Play

Welcome. Yes. This is a light topic today.

Donna Kunde

:: 02:5300

Play

I know. So why is this important?

Declan Oceguera

:: 02:5900

Play

So how is this idea of becoming friends with your inner critic, which I always think of as the subconscious mind, how is this important to becoming a person worth watching?

Donna Kunde

:: 03:1800

Play

You're asking me?

Declan Oceguera

:: 03:1900

Play

I'm asking you. Yes.

Donna Kunde

:: 03:2400

Play

Like you said, becoming a person. Okay, focus.

Declan Oceguera

:: 03:3100

Play

This is the one we win the award for. This is the award winning episode.

Donna Kunde

:: 03:3600

Play

I'd like to thank the Academy. Becoming a person worth watching, whose inner critic that subconscious mind is working with you instead of against you, is why we want to do this one. Because like I had mentioned before, everyone has that little voice. Everyone has that little voice in our head, that subconscious mind, that other part of us that is the critic critic. And so you want to continue to get behind the camera even when you don't want to, even after times where you go, oh, my gosh, what just happened? Even when that voice is so big and loud in your head, you really want to become that person worth watching by making friends with that inner TV talk show critic, your subconscious.

Declan Oceguera

:: 04:2600

Play

And this episode, it's a perfect example because I think you're the same way. We like to get things right. We like to be professional and make a good example. And we're making all of these what some people would call little mistakes. And we're stuttering over our words. And it's truly this is not planned.

Donna Kunde

:: 04:4900

Play

No. It's just how the universe shows up.

Declan Oceguera

:: 04:5400

Play

We're just going to mess with you guys. And here we are anyways, still delivering what we're here to deliver. And I think it's just the perfect example of when you are friends with that inner critic, because I know that mine, I'm sure yours is, too, going like hell, my God, stop it. Start over. Delete, do this one again. We can't. Right? But we're moving forward anyways, and we're confident enough in ourselves and at peace with who we are and what we do and what we're here to do to help you, those of you watching and listening to this, that we can keep going forward. And so even though there is that voice saying, oh, my God, what is going on? There's the other voice saying, it's perfect. Everything's fine. This is what allows us to say, what a great example of how to keep going forward, even though there's that part of you that saying something's not going according to plan.

Donna Kunde

:: 05:5700

Play

And it's really about whose plan? Whose plan is it? There's what you think is what should happen, and there's what is happening. And I always tell people, and they give me this puzzled look, that everything happens exactly like it should or it would happen differently.

Declan Oceguera

:: 06:1900

Play

moving forward because which: 01:00

Donna Kunde

:: 07:2600

Play

Yeah, I've had tornado sirens go off, all of this. So what else, Declan, do we want our listeners to know?

Declan Oceguera

:: 07:3700

Play

Let's see. All right, so you often will be your most harsh critic, right? We often talk to ourselves so much harsher than we would ever allow anyone else to speak to us. And so you got to stop that. We have to not do that. And learn to become kind to yourself and know that sometimes things may not go according to how you think they're supposed to go, but it's going the way it's going. So just don't waste the time on beating yourself up about it. And I don't know. I know it's really corny, but the make lemon. What do you say? Lemonade out of lemons?

Donna Kunde

:: 08:2600

Play

Yes.

Declan Oceguera

:: 08:2700

Play

That you got to learn how to just go with the flow and do that versus breaking yourself down and beating yourself up about it.

Donna Kunde

:: 08:3600

Play

Yeah, because everybody has an ego 100%. That's what the inner critic is like you say, and it wants to just keep us safe in our comfort zone and we have permission to embrace all aspects of our being and allow them to coexist. Like, I have a story that I want to share and it's about the two wolves. Before I do, though, I do want to invite everyone who is listening to subscribe to this show@tvtalkshowformula.com so you never miss an episode. This is episode six out of 52. We have a lot of little stepping stones along the way, so be sure to scribe@tvtalkshowformula.com. And if you want more direct support if you want any kind of direct support from us for your TV talk show, then you can contact us at tvtalkshowformula info. And I think that leads into this YinYang, the story of two wolves. There's a lot of people who've heard about this one, Declan. They attribute it to Cherokee. I'm not exactly sure, but they say a Cherokee elder was talking to his grandson about a battle that rages inside of us. And it's about good and evil, peace and joy and love and hope versus all of the evil, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, these two sides of our emotion and our being.

Declan Oceguera

:: 10:0200

Play

Yeah.

Donna Kunde

:: 10:0200

Play

And then the grandson that he's talking to, his grandfather, he said which wolf wins? He's like the white wolf and the black wolf. They talk, which wolf wins? And in the traditional one that most people have heard of, the grandfather says, the one that you feed. And so when we're talking about feeding the wolf, you think you're going to starve the other one. And most people immediately think, I'm going to feed the white wolf, the good one. But there's another version of the story. They say, this is the real version. And the response from the grandfather, instead of the one you feed, says, if you feed them right, they both win. You see, if you only feed the white wolf, the black wolf will hide in the dark, waiting for me to falter so that I can pounce and get the attention that it craves. He will always be angry and will always be fighting the white wolf. But if I acknowledge them both, both he and the white wolf can be satisfied, and we all win. Because the black wolf has the qualities that the white wolf lacks, which is your tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strength of will, and resourcefulness, which are all the things that you need to get behind the camera and push the button.

Declan Oceguera

:: 11:1100

Play

Exactly.

Donna Kunde

:: 11:1200

Play

And then the white wolf has compassion, caring, heart, and ability, which is your message. So feed them both.

Declan Oceguera

:: 11:1900

Play

Yeah. I love that. Actually, I hadn't heard that the true ending until I met you. I only had heard the other side. And it was really great to hear this alternate option because that makes so much more sense for me, because it is about balance and being in tune with the various pieces of ourselves and learning how to work with them instead of thinking that there's something wrong.

Donna Kunde

:: 11:4800

Play

Yeah. So we're starting to wrap up this episode. Declan, what do we want our listeners to do? What do they want them to do? And what action do we want them to take?

Declan Oceguera

:: 11:5700

Play

Okay, so we invite you to really start to notice, pay attention to the self talk that's going on. It's always going on if you just listen. You're probably listening to it more than you realize. So now you want to kind of pull out a bit, if you will, and consciously become aware of how you're speaking to yourself and noticing how much of it is negative or harsh or kind of degrading to yourself. Right? And then we would like you to rephrase it or reframe it. And it's helpful to write down you might even do this for 1 hour. It's a good challenge to do it for an entire day, but I would start start for 1 hour. And notice every time you have a thought that is like, where you're beating yourself up, right? And it might include sometimes curse words towards yourself. Or it might just be like, oh, I'm so this or I'm so that. There you go again.